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Introduction
What is cunnilingus?
Cunnilingus is the fine art of making love to a vagina
with your mouth and tongue. It is a delicate skill,
requiring patience, practice, and dedication to get it
right, but any woman you learn to do it right for will
appreciate you all the more for it.
What applies to the penis applies to the vulva - every
one is different, requiring a different touch to make its
owner happy. But few tools can equal the tongue for the
amount of pleasure it can deliver to a happy vagina.
This article assumes that you know what a vulva looks
like and can identify with some precision the mons
veneris, labia majora, clitoral hood, clitoris, labia
minora, urethra, vagina, and perineum, to name them
(approximately) from top to bottom.
How fast should I go?
This isn't an attack. Don't go after the clitoris like
a fireman attacking a fire. Quite often at first, the
clitoris is far too sensitive for direct stimulation.
Lick around it, stimulating the hood, teasing her inner
labia, tasting her. Take your time and listen to
her. Some women make noise, and some do not. It will be a
while before you learn exactly what your lover prefers as
far as oral sex is concerned.
Some women may like additional stimulation - a finger or
two into the vagina, or perhaps even the anus. She may
want your hands to reach up and play with her breasts, or
she may want your fingers to hold her labia apart so that
your tongue can get at her vulva more directly.
I've heard cunnilingus doesn't
taste good.
If the taste or smell bothers you or is a concern, ask
her to wash first. Most people who enjoy cunnilingus
agree that a clean vagina is a good, if acquired, taste.
As a woman nears her climax, she may want more direct
stimulation. In general, fast, rhythmic stimulation is
most effective at causing climax - but there shouldn't be
a rush to get there. Take your time and learn to
appreciate what you can do for her.

What about cunnilingus during
menstruation?
Some people are particularly turned off at the
suggestion of cunnilingus during menstruation. If it is a
concern to you, then wait. A tampon may well hold the
blood back, as will a diaphragm, but some men can't stand
the taste anyway. If your partner is healthy, however,
there is no particular danger in menstrual blood, and
some women find that orgasms during their periods
allievate cramps.
Basic Guidelines:
- "Less" is always the
best way to start out if you don't know
exactly what a specific person likes. It's
much safer to build up from "not
enough" than to try to back
down after shattering the mood by
being too rough. The final argument to ensure
that you always apply this rule is this --
If you start out "too"
gentle/slowly, in most cases this
just excites your lover more, even in
the rare cases that it frustrates her a little.
But if you start out "too"
rough for her, it almost always
turns her off to the whole thing.
- The differences between women
cannot be emphasized enough -- no
matter what you have encountered so far,
always assume that you have no idea what a
new partner enjoys. It is entirely possible
to have had many lovers, and
think
A. They are all pretty much the
same or
B. You've learned all of the
variations, and can tell who's
what.
But this can be (and usually is)
just a matter of random
chance...you happened to get several
similar lovers. Eventually you will run into
someone, or many people, who are
completely different than those
you've known before.
- Don't start by going down on her.
Work your way up to it. Exceptions
may be if you're in a hurry before your Press
Secretary shows up, or other situations
where you're expected to act more
directly. It's worth observing
that "work your way up to it" remains
true no matter how many times you've been
with that lover. With a long-term
lover it may seem like you can
get right to the direct stuff,
but working your way up still has the same
effect of increasing her excitement, with
most women.
- Along the same line of reasoning,
don't start licking her clitoris
immediately, when you do get there.
Start with the area around it, which can be
pretty sensitive with some women, even if
it doesn't seem to cause the same
dramatic response.
- Even more important is to not
immediately start inserting fingers
in her vagina. With most women, that really
needs to be built up, first. It usually
doesn't hurt to build up a
little, even if she's already
excited.
- Remember this -- Most often, the
tongue works best with the
clitoris, the fingers with the vagina/g-spot.
Someone else's fingers on her clitoris tends
to be a little rough, no matter how
careful they are...and almost all
of the excitement she gets from
attempting to lick into her vagina
is psychological; she can't really feel much
that way.
- Hand Care: It's best to be sure
your fingernail edges are very
smooth, and preferably cut all the way
down to where they connect to your skin. No
matter how careful you are, they are
likely to cause her to get a
little sore inside, or even really
hurt, feeling like a knife cutting her. This
can even be the cause of soreness that she
doesn't realize is being caused
by your nails. Being a guitarist,
I have the nails on my left hand
trimmed back as far as I can cut them,
anyway. Guitar also gives one's fret-hand
amazing endurance and finesse, for g-spot
stimulation and other tricks.
-
Dental Dams: These are, in most
cases, just plain silly. Unlike
almost any other form of sexual activity,
the odds of you transmitting or catching AIDS
this way are almost zero. There
are almost no cases of any female
homosexuals, for instance, even claiming
to have caught AIDS this way. In
case you're wondering what the
hell I'm talking about, a "dental dam" is
simply a condom cut in half lengthwise
and used to keep fluids from
passing between mouth and vulva.
And it's being advocated primarily by
people who are simply jealous that they're
missing out on a great chance to
be a "victim" in the
issue of sexually transmitted diseases.

Interesting note -- A little noise on
your part usually doesn't hurt, and sometimes
it helps. Some women are very hung up on cunnilingus,
determined to believe that, no matter how much you
say otherwise (and she claims to believe
you), it may be at least a little unpleasant
for you. If you're excited by her responses, or by
the act itself, don't try to stay quiet about it.
The same kind of sounds that will reassure
and excite a lover when they're pleasuring
you will often work when you're pleasuring them, too.
This could be considered a secret weapon in sex in
general, because most guys are rather
quiet, and yet women almost always find
responsiveness very exciting. The contrast between
someone who's responsive and most of the other guys
makes it even more effective than it would already
have been.
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